Losing My Sexuality
by RockOnGlee
Summary: Santana and Quinn struggle with their relationship issues.


Hi everyone,

This is my first FanFiction, and because I ran out of ideas, I made this a one-shot.

Just a quick note, the text in Italics are the characters' thoughts.

Lastly, remember to be nice, and review to let me know what you think :)

Thanks! :)

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Part 1: Ho

Santana's POV:

Brittany kissed me as she slid out of the leather dining booth.

"Thanks for dinner, Santana," she said, smiling. "Lord Tubbington will like the burger."

"I love you," I reached forward to return her kiss, cherishing the moment, not even bothering to tell her that burgers weren't usually part of a cat's diet.

"I love you too." I stared after her as she disappeared around the corner.

Along with Brittany exited my compassionate side, and I was back to my same old bitchy, manipulative, arrogant self; snapping my fingers at a nearby waitress to have the table cleared, all I could think of was plucking up the courage to ask Brittany to prom. The whole school knew about us now, and I still like to think it was Finn Hudson who forced me out of the closet, but it would be my first year with Britt as my date and as much as I hated to admit it, it unnerved me.

The comments, the whispering, the snide jokes... I shook my head.

_No_, _it's_ me _who does the backstabbing around here_.

And anyway, according to my grandmother, marriage of quality in all 50 states would have to wait for another millennium, and wishful thinking had already lost its purpose.

As I fished a twenty dollar bill out of my purse to hand to the waitress, I heard loud laughter coming from just outside the Breadstix doorway.

"I won! I definitely won!" Quinn Fabray's unmistakable nasally voice yelled; I craned my neck to eavesdrop. More chuckling, followed by a deeper, distinguished laugh. Definitely Artie Abrams, him and his new disabled friend going out for a meal, no doubt.

Seconds later, two wheelchairs hurtled through the restaurant doorway at full speed, proving my suspicions. I quickly stood up, banging my leg against the table, and headed towards the back door to make myself scarce; I was always interested when it came to Quinn Fabray, one minute a on-top-of-the-world cheerleading captain, and the next an old sentimental handicap with an unappealing haircut.

I watched in my peripheral vision as the pair settled themselves at a table, sharing a menu, hands held, their words too far away to hear, but evident smiles on their faces. Observations from my innocent snooping.

_Come on, Fabray,_ I smirked teasingly. _I know you like to play it dangerous. You and that wheelchair bastard, go a step further – I dare you._

But nothing could prepare me for what happened next; it was all too fast. In one quick movement, they were leaning against each other, kissing. No, not kissing; _making out_. Yes, making out. _Smooching_.

I'd seen enough.

I thought back to the first day I'd met Quinn, at the McKinley High sports ground at our first Cheerios session, when she was with Finn, then when she had Beth with Puck and lied about it, then how she'd cheated on me with Sam….and now this. I was disgusted; taking a different guy home every night is one thing, but cheating on three guys (and soon to break another one's heart)? – bitchy. Sick.

I stared at her, and it implied one thing: _ho_. _BIG. FAT. HO. _

Quinn's POV:

…_Was that Santana running out the back door just then? I could've sworn I felt a stare burning into my back. What are they going to say if they find out about Artie and I? And what about…._

_Quinn Fabray, you're a slut, a total slut. No, no you're not… _

I shook my head and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Artie said, noticing my apprehension. "They'll never find out, and plus, you of all people need a friend right now." He smiled.

It only takes one look into someone's eyes to fall in love all over again; the rest of the night was history.

I never felt so good about being in a wheelchair.

_The next day_…

Santana's POV:

We filed out of the choir room as the sixth period bell rang. I'd noticed that Quinn had tactfully sat next to Blaine at practice today, ignoring Artie's smiles and waves.

Being the bitch that I was, posting the news on Twitter would be the politically right thing to do, but with all the college preparation crap and "appreciating your senior year", I was walking on a dangerously fine line.

"You've been looking like Lord Tubbington when he has constipation all day, Santana, what's up?" Brittany said, linking hands as we walked to Spanish class.

"Oh, nothing. Just…" I waved my hands awkwardly for any sort of inspiration, "college, you know? And prom."

"I've got _that_ sorted," Brittany said, smiling.

"Of course you have, you're an amazing class president."

We maneuvered through the sea of bodies, and I paused to glance into the multi-purpose room where Quinn, Mercedes, Sam and Joseph had their God Squad meetings – just in time to see Joe lift Quinn onto a table. She had that look in her eyes… like there was no other place she'd rather be; the one that she pulled off so easily.

Then he kissed her. A kiss that he meant. I pitied him; I always found myself hotter than Quinn Fabray, but now that I think of it, more honest.

I pulled Brittany away.

It was time to do what Santana does best.

Part 2: Losing my Sexuality

Blaine's POV:

The bell rang, ending another afternoon; 41 days of my high school experience left. I was going to Dalton for a visit, I owed my friends in the Warblers as much.

"Want to come over to my place? I can make you up for our date," Kurt said, as I shouldered my backpack.

"I think I'll pass," I said. "I'm going to Dalton for a visit; see how the guys are doing, you know? I'll text you later."

"Fine, then I guess I'll have to go over to Rachel's instead, to think up a number for my NYADA audition, _without your help_." Kurt stared at the ground, playing at being hurt.

I looked away, just in time to see Santana break away from Brittany to stand in front of me.

"So you're going to Dalton?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Santana…. not now," I said, squaring my shoulders and preparing myself for a full dose of crap.

She lowered her voice instead. "What time?"

"Well, I was thinking of going now; Kurt and I are having dinner tonight," I said, edgging past her.

She put out a hand to block me.

"_Now_?"

Santana's POV:

I hadn't told anybody. Not even Brittany.

I thought about Quinn; Quinn with Artie, Quinn with Joseph, Quinn acting coy, avoiding them both, Quinn being a total ho. And me… oh God. But I _had_ to get to Dalton before him, and make myself scarce.

But there was an impatient gay standing in front of me, waiting for an answer, getting more suspicious by the moment.

"Yeah - now. Got a problem?" Blaine said, raising his gay waxed eyebrows.

"Once a Warbler, always a Warbler, right?"

That always wound him up. I felt bitchy, leaving Brittany, especially after I'd promised to give her a ride home; "You always come first", that's what I said to her. But right now, right here, making it to Dalton was more important. Just for now.

_You're a manipulative bitch, Santana. A cheater. You met him at a gay bar; you barely even know him. _

_At least _she'll_ never know… _

He was waiting for me at the back door, looking evenly at me. I gave him my bitchiest smile, not knowing whether it was the faceoff of the century, or true love.

_Brittany_….

"Hey, Santana." One more look into his green eyes, and I knew I belonged with Sebastian Smythe – someone I could bitch at, who would satisfy me by bitching back. Someone I could passionately love and hate at the same time.

"Come on, let's find a room and get started." He said.

"Wait," I said. "What about Brittany? I can't just…I can't…I love her."

"Santana, I'm eighteen. Eighteen years old. I was straight for twelve years, and gay for six; what's stopping us from going up another level? I, for one thing know you can love two people at once. We're right for each other." Sebastian said. "Let's go."

Blaine's POV:

Dalton hadn't changed much since I'd left.

Same, civilized, polite people, all in uniforms – the Warblers were planning for Nationals, just like the New Directions, and Sebastian was still captain. I wanted to see him, but he hadn't been there; I walked past the choir room once more, waving to my friends, and made my way towards the parking lot.

"Santana, I think you should go now," a muffled voice said from inside a classroom. Santana. There was always something going on with her.

"Yeah. We'll meet in the parking lot this Thursday, okay?"

I stopped and pressed my ear against the doorway, eavesdropping. _That's not very mature, Blaine, not mature at all._ But it was tempting. I gave myself the benefit of the doubt.

The voices moved closer to the doorway, so I leaned into the shadows, but it was too late; Santana and Sebastian walked out, both looking like they'd been doing some serious work.

"_Blaine_!" Sebastian said, trying to hide his surprised tone. "You didn't tell me you were dropping by today."

"I'm sorry – did I…walk in on…"

Santana didn't try half as much to hide her displeasure, but ran in the direction of the parking lot, her loud swearing bouncing off the stone walls of the hallway.

"The two of you….oh." I said. "Oh."

I guess I never really got to know Santana Lopez until today.

Santana's POV:

I hate having my social reputation hanging on a thread.

And worst of all, I hate having it dangling on one of Blaine Anderson's fingertips.

"You can love two people at once," Sebastian said. And maybe it wasn't love, but we had so much in common; from the first time I'd set eyes upon him, I knew I'd met my match.

Blaine stared at me, biting his lip as I entered the choir room, awkwardly holding Brittany's hand, pretending nothing was wrong. My sexuality was lost…what was I? What was Sebastian? I'd been so sure Brittany had been part of my future just days ago. But now… I still loved her, but would she love me once she found out? A bitchy cheater. That's what I was. A bitchy cheater that would give her crap. But I needed to ask her a question first. After all, just two years ago, she'd been the girl with a different guy on top of her in bed every single night.

"Brittany," I said, taking a seat next to her as Mr. Schue explained out next assignment.

"Yeah," she said, putting her head on my shoulder.

"…Do you think you can love two people at once?"

"No." she said. "Definitely not. I'm glad we're not like that."


End file.
